The Phoenix Burns Away Before She Rises Again

A lifetime of intense skin experiences has taught me so much about the healing process. Quick backstory:

I was born with eczema. For 23 years I used topical steroids to manage the symptoms. Over those years I kept getting prescribed stronger and stronger medication — with scarier and scarier side effects on the warning labels.

That drove me to quit the topical steroids and focus on healing my body holistically. What I didn’t know is that cutting out topical steroids cold turkey ignites Topical Steroid Withdrawal. For three years I experienced a new level of pain and discomfort — continuous cycles of full body skin inflammation and skin shedding.

Every few weeks, a layer of skin would shed away and a new layer would grow in. It’s almost like my skin as an organ was learning how to rebuild itself.

Slowly but surely each layer would last longer, and now 8 years after quitting Topical Steroids, the full body shedding happens maybe twice a year. Currently going through a cycle now.

After countless cycles of healing, I have learned one Truth very viscerally: Destruction comes before creation. Death before rebirth.

During the period of destruction, rest is required — because the shedding of the old layer is quite uncomfortable. Pain. Loss. Grief.

Over the years I have noticed a change in my relationship to the pain of destruction. Now I try to remember that if my life is falling apart, that means space is being created for something new. Something fresh. Something beautiful.

I share all this to say: if you’re going through a period of destruction in your life, whether in a relationship, your living situation, or any other aspect, it’s ok to feel hurt. It’s ok to feel lost.

Find peace in the pain. Love yourself through it all. Take care of yourself and your needs. Remember what you are really going through is the transfiguration of pain into gain.

On the other side of this destruction is the creation of a brand new life.

Thank you for your time and attention. Wishing you inner peace today and always.

If you like my journal sketchbook art, check out my NFT’s here. Currently exploring the world of NFT’s and sharing my creativity with the community.